Love!

It's funny how things can be twisted and warped in the world.  Relationships, work, and life in general get so confusing and difficult when your focus shifts from where it should be.  The important things that matter are often more in the background than the simple little details that are not.

Some times we just need to "wake up" and realize what is more important.  If we get wrapped up in the little things, we become like the Pharisees and Sadducees that were so caught up in obeying the laws, that they forgot the purpose of it all.

Love one another!  I have been through some difficult things, especially in recent years, but I still have Love even for those who have caused me the most pain.  I will never be as loving as Christ, but I try to model myself after Him.  I have failed and will fail in the future, but I will not give up!

Persecution!

Somebody brought it to my attention today that I could be viewed by some as overzealous in my faith.  My initial reaction was slightly disturbed that this person felt this way.  As I was also dealing with some other emotional issues at that moment, the only thing I could think to do was pray about it.  I know, what a conundrum!

After that I decided to go for a walk.  While doing so, I had some time to think and ask God, "Why must I endure this suffering and persecution?"  I was reminded of the fact that today is the day that the church remembers the beheading of John the Baptist.  As was said by a priest in the past, "His persecutor had not demanded that he should deny Christ, but only that he should keep silent about the truth."  John the baptist spent his whole life spreading the truth, and I feel that not doing so, would be the same as denying Him.

I don't really want to die for what I believe, but I don't want to lose everything I have left either.  That said, I cannot deny Christ by not sharing what I believe either.  When we go through dark periods of our life, we may do so because we have lost sight of the truth for a time.  That does not mean that we should have to be separated from those who entered our lives during that dark time.

Divine Mercy

If that Devil gets any little hook in you, he will yank on it and pull you further down.  It may seem all the worse when you are already lifted up.  These are the most important times for prayer, especially when an important phone call gets no answer, an event looked forward to gets canceled, and someone gets upset with you over something silly all about the same time.  

My favorite prayer at those low moments, is that of Divine Mercy..."Jesus, I trust in you!"  These simple words are extremely powerful.  They can be a tiny doorway back into a realm of peace.  Remember them always and let them come from deep in your heart.

Excitement and Reflection

My children started back to school today.  I called and talked to my daughter, who gave me a rundown of her first day.  It's amazing the way one child will tell you almost everything that happened at school, and the other you can't even get on the phone.

Amid their excitement, I managed to get my "new" cassock adjusted to a point that it will fit comfortably.  It will always be a bit big for me, but as I don't have the money for a custom fit, or know anyone who has time to make one for me, it will have to do.  I believe it will work just fine.  Now my surplice looks a little silly, but that is a matter for another time.

These exciting things going on only serve to deepen my reflection on discerning my purpose.  The level of comfort and peace I feel, when I am the church, just doesn't compare with anything else I do.  I have yet to feel anything that steers me away from my desire to be a deacon, but as I still feel like I might also be called to the priesthood, the powers that be have asked me to wait and pray about it some more.  I will gladly continue to do so and hope that all who read this will pray for me as well.  

May GOD bless you all!

Get over here!

I can really tell that my help is appreciated at church, when right before my Sunday morning Bible study, Father looked at me from across the church a just gives the motion with his index finger that says, "Come Here!"  He already knew that I was scheduled to serve at the later Mass, but there were only ten minutes to the first one and no servers.  I happily agreed to help, and no sooner was I vested did four more show up.

After our second Mass together this morning, I pointed out that the cassock I have been wearing is starting to come apart and that I am hoping to try to find a way to purchase something more durable, since I use it almost every day.  He asked me to try on one of his in the closet, and then told me I could have it.  After re-securing a few buttons and pinning the back to take it in a bit, its still too big, but I think it will work.

Maybe some day I'll get one that wasn't either made for a kid or a man with a much larger chest and neck.  This evening I have also been asked to come back and help with another Mass, as two of the scheduled servers are unable to be there.  I guess I will get the chance to see right away how well my alteration attempt turned out.

Prayer vs Evil

My mother offered me a bumper sticker for my car today!  I haven't had a bumper sticker on my car in years.  I think she realized that if I was going to put anything on my car, this would be it.  It says "Prayer, Our Best Defense Against Evil" and I think I'm actually going to put it on my car.  

This is something I have learned quite well over recent years.  Whenever things are going wrong, and my thoughts are turning to evil, I like to bring myself back to the Lord with a bit of prayer.  I think this is what I like so much about praying the Liturgy of the Hours.  By design, it is meant to bring us back to prayer multiple times a day.  Five to seven times a day we come back and read a bit, offer praise, sing hymns, and just re-focus our day.

You know, it just blows me away to realize that so many people feel that it is only for priests and religious.  It is meant for us all, as we are all asked to pray without ceasing.  It is an obligation for priests and religious, but it is also recommended for the laity.  I have made a promise to myself, as well as a commitment when I became an Oblate of Conception Abbey, to pray this daily as well.  It frustrates me when others do not take my commitment seriously because its not a "vow."  It's still a commitment to the Lord, and one I intend to keep...even if its not always easy.

Exhausted & Happy

Recently, I decided that I needed to get back in shape.  I had started to gain a significant amount of weight from a lack of physical activity.  Between working two jobs and serving at daily Mass early in the morning, I just didn't have the energy left to go for a run anymore.  I decided last week that I would start with walking, and I enjoyed it so much during the first two days, I went for a run on the third.

That bordered on being a mistake.  I was miserable by the end, but the whole time something just kept telling me, "Just push through it."  I realized tonight that it must have been the devil I was listening to.  As I went for a 6 mile walk this evening after mowing two lawns, I made excellent use of a great app on my phone.  I have been praying the Liturgy of the Hours daily and this app has it as mp3 files, which meant I was able to pray and walk at the same time. 

It occurs to me that God will provide you with an abundance of energy, when you follow the plan.  I might be exhausted now, but I feel better than I have in a long time.  I still have a long way to go, but this is just like everything else.  I just need to keep following the plan, and have patience.